Perez Hilton Commits Gay Hate Crime

 On Sunday night Miss California Carrie Prejean should have been crowned Miss USA, but lost because she answered the question posed to her by Perez Hilton, real name Mario Lavandeira, honestly—and to the majority of heterosexuals correctly. The question? Does she believe in gay marriage? Her answer: a polite no offence, but no.

            With LA Live’s plaza empty, President Obama’s trip to Latin America, war with North Korea and Iran on my mind, not to mention a whole essay worth of economic discourse to write why would I write about a fat, no talent, gossip monger and his beef with a beauty queen? I caught Carrie Prejean being interviewed; she’s beautiful, articulate, and very smart. When she was shown a video of this vial creature who would be nothing, but the nobody that he truly is if he used anything other than a knock off of someone else’s name (Paris Hilton if you’re completely clueless) ranting and raving and calling her a bitch; Carrie Prejean, simply mentioned that she was a Christian and that she loved and forgave the cretin.

            Well, I’m not a good Christian as you might have gathered and I’m weary of this trend in our culture where the best of the best, the Carrie Prejeans of the world, are brought down by the dregs and misfits, the Mario Lavandeira’s of the world. But let me go back a few years.

I was in the process of editing my novel “Stan Lerner’s Criminal”, I’ll spare you the plug, and I would often meet my editor Lawrence at the Coffee Bean on Sunset and Fairfax. Those of you who are familiar with my writing might have understood me, to have in the past, been one of the regulars at the legendary Coffee Bean on Sunset Plaza—don’t be confused, I was. But to meet with Lawrence I would trek down the street and subject myself to, what was, not as desirable a scene—no offence.

            As we perused through the 800 pages of “Criminal” and the red ink of Lawrence’s grievances I could not help but to notice his constant distraction. “Why do you keep looking over at that freak?” I asked. “This is why I prefer you come down to my Coffee Bean.” I stared over at the potato sack with arms and legs that sat up against the back wall with some kind of queen fashion statement of a Hello Kitty hoody pulled over his head. “This is what’s ruining our country. I mean, I know it’s a free country but freedom without some sense of purpose or responsibility can actually be a terribly destructive force…”

            “That’s Perez Hilton,” interrupted Lawrence. “You’re right. He does totally creep me out.”

            “That’s what?” I asked.

            “Perez Hilton,” answered Lawrence, not getting that I had never concerned myself with those who are known for being known—and that’s it. “He has a blog.” Lawrence directed my computer, which was also on the table to Mario’s website.

            “So, he’s the queer version of Paris Hilton? Does he do a drag show or…” Lawrence turned my computer to face me and I stared at what might have been my first blog.

            “He’s a blogger. He writes Hollywood gossip.”

            I began to read some of the mindless drooling on the screen. Pure human flotsam all being generated from the gay degenerate sitting against the wall. I sighed as I looked at the pages of what would become an award-winning novel—four years of labor. “You know the sad part? The time people waste reading his nonsense is what’s destroying the world of literature that you and I are trying to make a living in.”

            “And he makes money doing it,” added Lawrence, as if the sight of Perez Mario Hilton Lavandeira was not already disturbing enough to one of the most disturbing writers of a generation.

            My mind drifted to that scene in the great novel “American Psycho” where Patrick meets up with the Perez Hilton type character walking a white poodle.”

            And as the years have passed I have actually come to bear witness that this nothing but trash talking freak has been elevated by corporate Hollywood to the point where Donald Trump would allow him to be a judge at the Miss USA pageant. Now I know that The Donald is all about making a buck, but seriously Mr. Trump—have things really come this far since “The Art of The Deal”. And girls, why would you participate in a pageant that has a judge who can’t go by his own name?

            So as I listened to Carrie Prejean speak to the situation with such class and I listened to the rants of Mario I concluded it’s time that the silent majority get behind the Carrie Prejean’s of the world. And yes Mario, we know how to blog too.


Gay is a sexual preference. In Mario’s case his preference is to have another man’s penis inserted into his rectum. Or another man’s semen spilling into his mouth. Sound graphic? That’s what gay means. It’s not about talking with a lisp or wearing funny little clothes. Or somehow being thought to have taste because having sex with another man somehow imbues one with anything more than sperm. I have a lot of gay friends. Almost none of them are screaming queens and even fewer believe that marriage should be between anything other than a man or a woman.

But even if they do, I don’t take issue. What I take issue with, is when one group persecutes another group. And in this case straight, white, Carrie Prejean was persecuted for her beliefs, which most of us agree with. This is a disgrace to both gay and straight Americans—it is hate. And there is no better symbol of this disgrace that is being perpetrated on both the straight and gay public than Perez Mario Hilton Lavandeira. Don’t read his blogs. Don’t do business with advertisers that give him money. And don’t watch or participate in any show that he is involved in—HE IS AN INTOLLRANT HATE MONGER. He just cost someone, one of our own, a well-deserved victory. Imagine a society that allows this to go on. Personally, I don’t want to. 

3 thoughts on “Perez Hilton Commits Gay Hate Crime”

  1. Stan,
    You are one of my best friend and I love your blogs and the intelligent way that you portray your views. I, personally, believe that anyone who truly loves another should be able to take the holy vows of marriage, whether man and woman, woman & woman, or man & man. To me each is his or her own and should be respected and valued in society. I do not like men like Perez Hilton who ruin the name for gays because of the way that he portrays himself. If you cannot use your real name and want to attach to a name like Paris Hilton-trashy, whore, druggie, rich bitch, part of the Hollywood Brat Pack, and is ugly, even with plastic surgery….lol!!! What does she offer for society???Nothing!!! I love that her grandfather is sooo disgusted with her that he cut her out of the will, because he is embarrassed of her and feels that she does not deserve his money. I hate men and women who fraudulently portray themselves as gay and are flaming and use it for attention, because it ruins it for the true gay men & women and leads to a negative connotation. As for the Miss America Pageant, the judges should be unbiased to the questions asked. I do not support these competition because most of the girls just give bullshit answers, whatever they think that we want to hear. The shows are politically rigged and just an illusion of beauty. I cannot remember the first black Miss America, who was dethroned, because she had gay photos surface, after she won. I always felt that it was wrong to dethrone her. She is married to a basketball player and has a beautiful family and to me she will always be the first black Miss America. There is not always justice in life so find the truth and promote your knowledge. I have learned to shine my light on the darkness of this world. I love reading your work, Stan 🙂

  2. Would you please provide your readers with a list of these sullied advertizers who are abetting this sub-cretinous troll?

  3. “Holy vows of marriage,” in which religious pantheon? Certainly not in Christian, Jewish or Islamic beliefs. Homosexual acts are decried in the Holy writings of all three of these belief systems.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *