DINNER AND A MOVIE – DOWNTOWN!!!

I once went to Vegas for a weekend and stayed for a year—that would be 2003 to 2004 the year of  “Stan Lerner’s Night Tribe” at the Rio, oh what a year.

My most recent 30 straight days of partying and blogging in Sin City, well a teaser by my own standards. And while I was away I heard the news that REGAL 14 OPENED AT LA LIVE!!!

“Not far from Rock ‘N Fish,” I thought to myself. “Not far at all. Oh, and FIDM is having a little “New Moon” party on Friday at the restaurant before the sucking kicks off. And there’s also my much older sister’s birthday to consider—Saturday night.” And then there was one more thought. “I should probably spend some time with my girlfriend who is less than thrilled…”

So I resolved to head back to the City Of Angels, although I’d been up to debauchery that would have embarrassed Heidi Fleiss back in the day—when I was dating her roommate Dianna.

Down the 15 to the 210, cut through Pasadena, down the 110, off on 9th, right on Flower, cheap parking lot—pick up girlfriend— head straight to Rock ‘N Fish meet with seriously up an coming producer, collect $150,000.00 down payment on three new projects, say goodbye to seriously up an coming producer—order Spicy Tuna Roll and Ahi Tuna with Spinach and Mac ‘n Cheese.

“Edward…Edward…Edward…Do you like Jake or Edward?” the girlfriend ranted on in a “Twilight” frenzy that alleviated all guilt for the things I had just done in Vegas.

“I’m going to head into the party. Why don’t you hang at the bar? Maybe Edward will show his glowing little face that I’d like to punch in.”

“You wouldn’t…”

I walked into the party and looked for Sarah Maxwell—who was responsible for putting together the little soirée. Continue reading

DISCOVERING PLEASURES AT TREASURES

It had been a long day of wine tasting at the Hilton, literally more than a thousand wines to choose from. And there was Billy O’ Rourke’s new tequila served by hot girls via cold ice luge—you get the picture. So later as I sat at the Circle Bar at the Hard Rock Hotel one can easily understand why I might be content to sit and watch Fedor knock out yet another MMA opponent. I can’t wait to see Brock Lesnar and Fedor come to blows, my money will be on Fedor who doesn’t bother with product endorsements, although his right hand might just be the cure for Brock’s foot in the mouth disorder. Anyway, I just wanted to sit, drink (more) and watch the fight.

“I have no interest in watching MMA, let’s roll to Hofbrauhaus and drink some beer and…” said my buddy Isaiah, an exec. at The Venetian.

“You go, I’m watching the fight. I’ll come over when it’s done.”

So I’m talking to Ken the dentist visiting from San Diego to my left when a kid, by kid I mean 22-year-old, pulls up next to me in the seat Isaiah had just vacated. I was hoping for someone of the female variety, obviously, but he seemed decent enough. I was slightly alarmed that he ordered a beer rather than a real drink, like Ken and I, but I reminded myself that the youth of today, well let’s face it, they’re little girls when it comes to vice. Anyway, I included him in the fight conversation with Ken and unlike my buddy Isaiah he did indeed have an interest in some good old ass kicking.

“So what is there to do around here,” he asked.

“This is Vegas, what is there not to do?” I responded. “You’re not from around here are you?”

“I’m from Sweden, I’ve been here for four hours…”

“You’ve never been to Vegas before?” He shook his head. And that’s when I notice two average looking young girls eyeing me, they had “college kids playing hooker in Vegas” written all over them—so I waved them over. I figure that I don’t really give as much money as I should to charity, but I make up for it by helping kids like these two get through school. And since I was feeling particularly philanthropic I nodded toward my new friend from Sweden, thinking that he might like to get a proper start in Vegas.

“So do you want to go up to your room and get naked, the four of us?” asked part time college hooker number one. Continue reading

ROCK ‘N FISH-ROCKS

Foreword by Stan Lerner: so many readers have thanked me for turning them on to Rock ‘N Fish I’ve decided to put a banner up for the place and give this post one more run on the downtownster  front page! If you haven’t tried Rock ‘N Fish yet–go there and see what I’m talking about. I’ll be back in LA on the 20th and you can guess where you’ll find me eating dinner…  

Torn between readers who want stories about national topics and those who want to know what’s going on in the very happening Downtown LA always presents a conundrum for this writer. Balance being the key to most things in life and the fact that I’ve been desirous of writing about Rock ‘N Fish LA Live for a long time now—this one is for my people in my hometown The City of Angels. And for those readers abroad, you’re going to come to Los Angeles one day, so make a note: eat at Rock ‘N Fish LA live, you’re going to like it.

For the ultra faithful it could tickle your AEG bone that I’m writing about a dining establishment in the heart of LA Live given our stormy relationship, but this place is too good to throw out with the bathwater. And given that I’ve taken to eating at Rock ‘N Fish several days a week I wouldn’t want a Stan sighting to send the observer of such into shock. I should mention here that while most of the restaurants at LA Live are big corporate owned entities, Rock ‘N Fish is one of a chain of two, the original being a beach legend down in the South Bay.

So of all the restaurants in all of the places that I travel…It all started months ago when I ran into Eric / manager of Rock ‘N Fish…I’m leaving out the part about the hot publicist, but the story really begins with me sitting on the very nice patio, one of the best in Downtown, listening to some great rock ‘n roll, thus the name Rock ‘N Fish, and eating almost everything on the menu—not one thing that I wouldn’t order again. But before talking about the food I have to digress for a moment and say that Rock ‘N Fish LA Live is about more than food, Rock ‘N Fish LA Live is about community. All of LA Live combined has not made an effort equal to that of Rock ‘N Fish to be part of what’s going on Downtown and downtownster is all about supporting those that support us.

The food: Rock ‘N Fish much like another favorite restaurant of mine, Continue reading

A BLAST FROM THE PAST IN LAS VEGAS – NOT EXACTLY

“So you’re in Vegas staying at Fat Andy’s house?” asked Norm Rosenstein, my accountant, whom I put in charge of all of my former business interests from way back in my empire building years of insanity.

“Yeah, he has an extra bedroom,” I responded…Norm usually gives me the business about my lack of interest in the business around this time of year.

“You have fifty-seven unoccupied houses, two in Vegas, why are you crashed out at Fat Andy’s?”

Frankly, I had forgotten about the houses in Vegas. “That many houses? I didn’t realize…I get lonely, I prefer to stay with friends…”

“Stan, fifty-seven houses, one hundred and four automobiles, a G-4 and a Citation all costing money and nothing you seemingly have any interest in. Besides my fiduciary responsibility as the trustee that you appointed, some of your friends and family are calling me…”

“C’mon Norm you’re stressing me out…Why don’t you come out and have some fun?”

“I read your blog last week along with a million other people…You don’t really think that the ghost of Howard Hughes is riding shotgun with you these days?”

I looked over at Howard who was indeed sitting next to me in the Benz…Apparently he really likes my car. He mentioned, that had he not died, he would have designed this exact car.

“Norm, I was kidding about Howard…I’m delusional not crazy! Anyway, I need to pull into Starbucks and do some writing can we pick this up tomorrow?”

“Stan you have to grow up again…I mean what happened, you used to be a business machine?”

“Money is base Norm…It bores me. To be continued…” I hung up the iphone.

Howard gave me a thumbs-up. “I thought you handled that superlatively,” he grinned that haunting grin.

“Norm means well. And he’s made me like a billion dollars or something, but I just can’t get into it. I like to write, it’s my passion.”

“I know, I felt the same way about flying…You will be confronted with the catalyst for your change (awakening) you know—sooner or later.” Again that haunting grin.

So as I sat at Starbucks updating my facebook status it really was no surprise that the last girl I had wanted to marry, before giving up on the conventional empire building life that Norm wishes I would regain my zeal for, popped up with a comment. I don’t know how Howard knows the answers to everything from curing zombie fever and if I may digress for a moment, I don’t know what’s better, having sex with the zombie girl who keeps on biting me or the antidote of sleeping with the married midget who looks like a mini Megan Fox, but this is, in no small part, why I haven’t gone back to LA…Anyway, Howard was right again, we all have our own path, but there are circumstances that for better or worse influence how we get to where we are meant to go.

Out of kindness I’ll just call this girl G…

“Vegas baby! I’m in Vegas for my Birthday!” Read the comment on my facebook status.

Since we hadn’t spoken, but for a chance meeting ten years ago in Central Park, for fifteen years, I found this to be an incredible coincidence. But the fact that we had become facebook friends surely meant that there was still some type of closure needed…I accepted her invitation to meet her and her friend at Tao for dinner. Continue reading

MOVIE REVIEW: DISNEY’S A CHRISTMAS CAROL

Originally published in 1843, Charles Dickens’ “ A Christmas Carol” is believed to be one of the greatest Christmas stories ever told.  And I have to agree.  Next to “Oliver Twist”, “A Christmas Carol” is my favorite Charles Dickens novel.  I still remember on reading it back in my elementary school days,  how I was drawn to the darkness and grit of story and the characters, and how from the darkness sprang a beautiful hopeful light and joy. And it seems that I am not the only one touched by the tale as over the years there have been countless incarnations of Dickens’ masterful work, from children’s book adaptations to knock off stories to cartoons to animated films to no less than 70 theatrical films and made for tv movies with everyone from Mickey Mouse to Vanessa Williams and Mister Magoo, Reginald Owen, Alastair Sim, a 1910 Marc McDermott,  Tim Curry and Bill Murray, all being visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.  Now Disney enters the fray, yet again (you may recall the adorable “Mickey’s A Christmas Carol) and together with Robert Zemeckis, brings us one of the most authentic adaptations to the Dickens’ classic that I have ever seen Continue reading

HALLOWEEN LAS VEGAS no small affair

LAST BLOG

So last we left off I had just left the Michael Jackson “This Is It” premier at the Palms / Brenden Theatre. And I was feeling the terrible effects of the bite from the zombie girl that I had, had sex with in the bathroom at Mickie Finnz…And the ghost of Howard Hughes had given me some troubling advice as I drove to meet Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson who was helping Nightlife Marketing Guru Alicia decorate Cherry Nightclub at the Red Rock Casino…

“This is Stan?” Alicia asked Jessie, as I strolled up to Cherry, which was in the process of getting a large pair of fangs over its entrance—to give it the proper atmosphere for the upcoming Halloween Fang Banger’s Ball.

“Yeah,” responded Jessie.

“He’s hot for a middle aged writer.”

I took her hand and kissed it. “Flattery and money will get you everywhere with me. What would you like me to review?” I gesticulated toward my own finely tailored double-breasted suit. “I was at a movie premiere thus the suit…Otherwise I’ve been dressing more casual so as to fit in and get good stories…Fly on the wall kind of thing…But it hasn’t been working.”

“You look a little pale. Are you feeling okay?” asked Jessie.

“We need to talk, I need your help.”

Jessie nodded toward the club. “We have the whole bar to ourselves.”

This of course made me forget about all of my problems!!! Moments later with a Jack and Diet in hand I tried to think of a subtle way to explain my strange pallor.

“Remember the zombie girl I had sex with in the bathroom while I was on a first date with Roxy?”

Jessie nodded. And Alicia laughed and said, “I loved that blog!”

I sighed. “Everyone did. But she bit me and now I’ve got zombie fever.”

“That’s not good,” said Jessie, probably wishing James “Hollywood Deal Maker” Westbrook hadn’t asked him to look after me while I stayed in Las Vegas indefinitely.

“It gets weirder,” I continued, “the ghost of Howard Hughes was just riding shotgun with me in the Benz and he said the only cure is to seduce a married midget—otherwise I’m a zonbie—f*ck, I can’t believe this happened. Everyone else just gets herpes and I get this.”

Alicia just giggled, clearly realizing that Jessie wasn’t’ kidding when he told her he had never met anyone quite like me.

“Stan do you think the fact that you’ve only slept nine hours in the last seven days might have something to do with all of this.”

I pulled up my sleeve and showed him my see through skin and fluorescent veins.

“Wooooo,” said Jessie, as he stared at evidence of my rapidly changing state.

“Do something,” said Alicia, no longer giggling.

“Okay, no big deal, I’m a VIP host I can make anything happen in this town. Why not this? How long did the ghost of Howard Hughes say that you have?”

“He didn’t, but I don’t think too long.”

“Look it’s Halloween all weekend. I’ll just invite a bunch of midget couples to our table at Prive…I’m sure you can take it from there.” Continue reading