Barack Obama recently announced his choice for the new Supreme Court justice. He has selected Sonia Sotomayor – apparently because of her impressive record and the fact that she is female and Latino.
Bravo to them both. But if the President really wants to shake things up with some bold choices, here are my picks for the newest appointee to the court.
1) Hillary Clinton. Now, I realize she wanted to be President. But seriously, she would have made a perfect judge. It’s just too bad she already has a position: Secretary of State. Lord knows Obama wanted her in a job that would send her FAR away most of the time. Having her in Washington DC would probably be too close for comfort. He wouldn’t want to have to always sleep with one eye open. Lady Macbeth anyone?
2) If he wants to replace one judge with another, why not pick someone with true experience – and great ratings? Judge Judy! Imagine her in DC at the highest court of the land. Do not pee on my leg, Clarence Thomas and tell me that it’s raining!
3) Speaking of judges, there is another strong, clear choice. Now, this one is a bit more on the entertainment side – but he is concise, revered, and British. Who could be more intimidating and appropriate than – Simon Cowell! He could cut to the chase and get through a ton more cases than the other justices.
Seriously, imagine him giving his rulings? “Dreadful”. “Hideous” or “I would pack your bags, counselor.” Besides, anyone that can stand working with Paula Abdul for eight seasons obviously has a high tolerance for the criminally insane! The Supreme Court would be a breeze for him after working with her.
4) Now, if we want a daring choice – why not select someone who tells it like it is and isn’t afraid of confrontation? Tyler Perry’s Madea!
He could stop this gridlock in DC with a quick “HELL TO THE NO!” and I bet we could get through twice as many cases.
5) Lastly Barack, if you want one more suggestion for a justice to the Supreme Court, call me – I’m available! I even have a gavel. That’s all for now. Dismissed!