So I had intended to drive up to Missoula Montana, where my blog Road To Nowhere had left off, and continue my journey of self-discovery and storytelling from all over this great country of ours. But I have paved many paths with intentions that quite often differ from my deeds. I’m back in LA now, I wrote nothing about my trip from the road, although I did write about smashwords / ebooks and the Los Angeles Book Festival…Maybe we should explore a different voice as I now reflect on my most recent expedition. Perhaps sentences, which are short stories unto themselves—a marathon of sprints, if you will. Yes, a marathon of sprints, because isn’t that how one might best describe a robust life.

As I have done so often in the past I departed from my home in my hometown of Montebello. Round midnight the black beast (a 1996 Suburban) beckoned to me from the curb, “Come it is time to go.”

Sunrise breakfast at a diner a half hour south of Pebble Beach, the owner was nice, his business was failing—neglectful ways.

Stopped at Pebble Beach, the U.S Open was about to open, but I wasn’t so impressed by any of it at all.

I drove through the mountains, there was a blizzard, I passed the Donner Pass, poor people had to eat each other, I thought to myself.

The bright lights of Reno made me smile, I had never been there before and I felt like staying. I’ll go back to Reno one day…

I slept at a friend’s house a few miles outside of Boise Idaho, Eagle Idaho I believe it’s called, I hadn’t seen her in twenty-three years—she’s married to a nice guy and has two kids.

The drive from Eagle to Missoula was a wondrous; winter snowscape that wound along the Little Salmon River amongst many rivers and I never for a moment stopped wishing that everyone could one day see such beauty!

Missoula Montana is one of my favorite places, so I stayed for a while. Most people would and should experience all there is to do outdoors there—I sat at Break Espresso and wrote, chatted with Matt the barista, he’s the type that will never fully trust someone like me, but that aside he’s going to be a big success one day. I met a girl named Emma, I feel really good about her because something about her made me feel good about my day. I met a girl named Kelsi who I love because she needs me to. And I mean love in the Godly sense.

I caught wind of a story about a company in North Carolina that had been embezzled by its employees. They stole money by opening a bank account with the same name as the business they worked for and did so without the proper documents. And I couldn’t help but to wonder how this could happen at a Regional (Federal Reserve) Bank called Sun Trust—given that their name says Trust so you should be able to trust them. And besides it seemed like a violation of the Patriot Act—I decided to head for North Carolina and talk to the woman that opened the fraudulent account.

Montana takes a long time to drive though, but it’s a beautiful drive.

South Dakota was on the chilly side, especially when the road was closed do to a blizzard—it was necessary to spend the night in the car.

Minnesota seemed nice, but too much snow to frolic around—wish I could have seen my friend Jill.

Wisconsin, very nice people and they really do have the best cheese. I ate at the ihop in Madison, which made no sense since I’ve been trying to cut down on carbohydrates.

There was a quick stop for gas somewhere around Chicago Illinois where some young ladies out for a night on the town needed some assistance airing up the front passenger side tire of their very sporty Chrysler 300. They didn’t think much of me or bother to ask my name, but they did appreciate the help.

As I drove through Indiana the thought occurred to me that from Madison to Indianapolis our country is much more developed than say, from Missoula to Madison.

I should mention that I bought a cup of coffee at every gas station on the way…

Les Wexner (the founder of The Limited) once said that if I was ever in Ohio he’d grab a coffee with me—I stopped in Dayton.

Dayton Ohio is now on my list of favorite places. I went to the National Museum of the United States Air Force there—walked through a few former Air Force One’s. There’s a very nice coffee house across from the University of Dayton—chatted with an English professor named Andy and suggested that all of his students use Kindles. He liked the idea. Oh, and I gave him a copy of “Stan Lerner’s Criminal”. NCR used to be headquartered in Dayton, but they moved to Atlanta. And the GM plant closed due to lack of stimulus from President Obama’s economic stimulus plan. There’s a section of Dayton called the Oregon District—I might buy a building there one day, it’s a special place.

Spent an afternoon in downtown Cincinnati. I found another great coffee house there and could not understand why the mall is half vacant. Where have all the tenants gone?

For reasons I cannot disclose I had to skip North Carolina and head straight to Washington DC. First stop, The White House—it looks much larger and grand on television. Next stop, The Treasury—it’s right next door to The White House, there’s a tunnel between them. I stood for a moment and contemplated the power these two little buildings wield over such a large country and the words of Thomas Paine came to mind, “Should an island rule a continent?” I strolled across the street to the Old Ebbitt Grill and had lunch—it’s been around since 1856. A lot of the people who eat there are the same people who have spent fourteen trillion dollars more than we have.

From atop of the Washington Monument I gazed out the window—I have so much love and respect for our Founding Father George Washington I decided to say a little prayer. My hope being that God would let him know that we all still appreciate everything he did for us. I walked to the Lincoln Memorial and then all the way back across the mall to the Capitol Building—I watched the sunset from there. But there was a hopeful feeling somewhere in my heart that made me feel like the sun will rise again for us.

I took a walk down King Street in Alexandria and decided it was time to head home to the City of Angels.




An intense page-turner based on the author’s true-life experiences.

“Stan Lerner’s Criminal” is the graphic and shocking account of the rise to power of the world’s most calculating and dangerous criminal…Sam Noah.

Sam Noah was handsome, intelligent, and charismatic. He came from a good family, had the perfect girlfriend, and attended UCLA where he ranked at the top of his class.  Noah could have made anything he wanted to out of his life. But crime came naturally to him.

The story begins in 1984. The Cold War is at its height and the CIA is looking for still more funding for its covert operations around the world. Powerful men decide that there must be a go to guy. A man that will do whatever is necessary to finance the wars that Congress cannot be made aware of.

Sam Noah takes a job at a popular nightclub where he runs a smalltime ticket scam — and he begins to recruit the ruthless men that will help him build a narcotics empire.

When the FBI becomes a gathering threat to Noah, he forms an alliance with the CIA. His innovations — the crack house and the drive-by shooting — not only bring an unprecedented level of violence to the streets of America. They assure the powerful men who have engaged his services that Noah is indeed capable of doing the unthinkable.

The sale of cocaine makes him rich. His willingness to commit murder ensures that he will remain so.

Not since Hannibal Lecter has there been such a horrifying yet engaging mastermind of evil.

“Stan Lerner’s Criminal” transports the reader into the darkest of all places: the criminal mind.  This is an unforgettable journey into the psyche of Sam Noah — the man behind some of the most brutal sins against humanity.

By the end of this unflinching tale, what may shock the reader the most is how he or she will ultimately identify with and root for this ruthless but brilliant “Criminal”.

To sample or purchase “Stan Lerner’s Criminal” please visit:


“In Development” is a hilarious account of a day in the life of Stan Peters—Hollywood’s most powerful and scummiest producer.

The day begins like any other day—a superlative, five-star breakfast at The Peninsula Hotel. However, the shocking news that there has been a change at the very top of the studio means that the perfect world of Stan and his closest associates could come to a sudden end—especially with a movie like “Two Jews and a Blonde Psycho” in development. The subsequent call from Brad, the new studio boss, confirms their greatest fear—their movie is in danger of being put in turn-around. A day of sex, manipulation, lying, betrayal, blackmail, and murder ensues — otherwise known in Hollywood as a happy ending.

To sample or purchase “In Development” please visit:


To sample or purchase “Blast” please visit:


To sample or purchase “Impact” please visit:


To sample or purchase “Get Chicks 101” please visit:


To sample or purchase “Get The Right Guy” please visit:


To sample or purchase “Ninety-Nine Posts” please visit:


Stan Lerner is an award winning-author whose diverse credits include the novels “Stan Lerner’s Criminal”, “Blast”, “In Development,” and the children’s book “Stanley The Elephant.” Stan Lerner is also the creator of the Las Vegas music spectacle “Night Tribe” and the writer, director, producer of the hit motion picture “Meet The Family.” Mr. Lerner was born in Montebello CA and has lived in downtown Los Angeles for the last fifteen years.

For more information about Stan Lerner please visit his author profile at:

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