A new blog series, from the Abby Normal mind of Stan Lerner
Subsequent to the early morning mishaps in the otherwise happy Skinner household the family sat, as it always did, for a hearty morning breakfast—kind of. Mona drank her coffee, in a caffeine-induced state of rapture while her husband Richard and son Josh tried to determine what was on their plates—as it resembled nothing close to being digestible. Richard, now fully dressed with gun and shoulder holster over his shirt, sported a large gauze badge across his cheek, as he poked his fork curiously into the hash before him.
Mona rested her coffee cup on the table and looked lovingly at her boys. “You look very handsome with that big bandage on your face.”
Josh’s face tightened into an expression of absurdity. “He does not, its dorky.”
Sadness fell on Richard, the sadness of having a disapproving child.
“Don’t listen to Josh honey. Its sexy, it makes you look dangerous,” said Mona raising her eyebrow just noticeably enough for Richard to understand that there might be some guilt sex coming his way.
Richard shrugged. “I’m the only one in this house that’s not dangerous.”
Mona smiled and said, “I think Josh inherited his accident proneness from me,” then took another sip of her coffee.
“Dad you’re off today. Don’t wear your gun to the movie, it scares people.”
“Son I’m a cop. Even on my day off I have to be prepared to stop crime.”
Josh turned to Mona with the pleading look of a desperate child. “Mom, tell him not to take his gun.”
“Honey just this once. Josh needs to feel like a regular kid. Besides what can happen at a Sunday matinee?”
“Are you two happy now?” Grumbled Richard as he removed his gun from its holster and laid it down on the table like a poker chip.
“Honey buns you’re the best!” said Mona tossing her napkin over the gun and throwing her arms around Richard with a bear hug like grip.
“Thanks Dad,” added a truly appreciative Josh.
So caught up in the moment was Mona, that she came to totally disregard the bandage on Richard’s cheek, seeing it more as a landing pad for a big affectionate kiss, rather than the only protection for a cut that went clean to the bone.
Richard’s eyes went wide with pain as he leapt to his feet not realizing that he had accidentally tucked the red and white-checked tablecloth into his pants. For a moment they all stared at the contents of the table, which had just crashed together in a familiar cacophony, which had signaled the end of several meals at the Skinner table.
Mona considered the good fortune of her coffee mug still being in her hand and perked right up. “Don’t worry I’ll clean up. You and Josh can go off to the movie.”
On the driveway of the Skinner household Mona clutched Josh as if he was going away for a week. Continue reading