FOREWORD BY STAN LERNER: Downtownster does not celebrate its first birthday until February, but I still feel compelled to post the TEN BEST downtownster blogs of 2009. And while I think all of our blogs have been great, these are the ones that readers read the most and gave us the highest level of props for writing. This particular blog let the world know that Downtown Oliver Brown had a sister and David Mamet’s assistant Meaghan had some serious talent–readers loved Betty Booze!
Question: What’s better than wearing a skirt?
Why in his right mind, he would ever say yes, is beyond me… but I wasn’t about to question it. His ASSistant emailed me the address, and then after a nanny emergency, I was emailed another.
I was supposed to meet him that night on the roof at the Standard in downtown Los Angeles. That is definitely NOT where we met.
When my friend dropped me off (in a 1990 Eagle mind you) I wasn’t at all surprised by the location, but I was convinced that I would have NO real one on one intimate time with him… which was disappointing. I could have swept him off his feet… (sigh)
I had to show my I.D. at the door. The large man, accompanied by three other large men, was in plain clothes… which insulted my intelligence when I saw his surveillance ear piece.
He asked me if I had any weapons on me and then, as if he’d known me for years, leaned down and gently said “flask please, ma’am”. I looked at him in my best “f*ck you, how dare you assume… (I can’t even finish that).
I handed him the flask in my bag. He smiled, and moved out of the way, letting me inside.
There were kids everywhere! It was like Michael Jackson’s house at midnight. I looked around, my hands were sweating so badly, I could have taken a shot with the water shed. I tried to spot him, but there were just so many little humans running, screaming, crying, laughing, shitting, pissing, farting… you name it they were “ing-ing” it. Continue reading