Monthly Archives: May 2009

Arts & Culture

The Hockey Beard Part I

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Foreword by Stan Lerner: so why not a writer who lives in Olympia WA, we have readers around the world–literally. And my crazy intern, I have no idea where she’s at. So I present to you a funny story by a guy who writes like a downtownster.

My roommate is hell bent on growing a four-foot long ZZ Top style beard for no good reason at all except that he can.  He has made several beard attempts in recent years, but they all have ended with feelings of despair, regret, and shame.

The first time he tried was in the autumn of 2003; the only attempt with any logic behind it.  He had been cast a small speaking role in a production of The Medea, an ancient Greek tragedy by Sophocles.  He, as well as every other male character, was required to grow a sizable beard for his role.

And grow a sizable beard he did indeed.  Jabe is half Italian and very hairy.  His beard grows fast and thick as does the hair on his head.  After 6 weeks he was sporting a full thick mat of hair on his face that would rival that of any Alaskan fishing boat captain.

Being the loyal friend that I am I decided to join him in a “sympathy beard”.  I also refrained from shaving for 6 long weeks.  My beard, by comparison, was pathetic.  It didn’t look all that bad, but compared to Jabe’s it was the difference between a sporty economy coupe and a Formula 1 racecar.  My beard had no real shape and you could still see skin and the remnants of a once-attractive man beneath it.

It was the last time I let any facial hair get out of control.  I didn’t like who I became.  The beard started taking over. Continue reading The Hockey Beard Part I →

Sports

Rough Draft

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For the third time in my life, the Los Angeles Clippers won the NBA Draft Lottery.  The first time I was just a pup, but the resulting selection, Danny Manning, helped form my appreciation for the perennially subpar club.  Manning had just finished a stellar career at the University of Kansas where he led the Jayhawks to the 1988 national championship and won the Naismith and Wooden Awards as the country’s top player – a sure star at the next level.

Ten years later, coming off a 17-65 season, the Clippers again won the right to pick first overall, this time getting seduced by scouts’ whispers of a remarkably athletic behemoth from the University of the Pacific named Michael Olowokandi.  Rather than using the pick on established college stars such as Mike Bibby, Antawn Jamison, Vince Carter or Paul Pierce, or even gambling on foreign sharpshooter Dirk Nowitzki or high school prospect Al Harrington, all of whom have enjoyed long, productive NBA careers, the Clips figured a Nigerian kid that was raised in England and had five years of basketball experience was fit to carry the franchise into the 21st century.

Obviously neither of those choices turned out especially prolific careers, and the latter may well be considered the biggest bust in draft history.  So what makes the chances of success in this year’s draft any different?  Well, this is the first draft since LeBron James’ professional debut in 2003 that the top pick is just about impossible to mess up. One player, University of Oklahoma sophomore Blake Griffin, so far exceeds his peers in skill, athleticism and preparation that coach/general manager Mike Dunleavy has already tagged him as their selection, if ever-so-nonchalantly: “Clearly, we’re taking Blake Griffin,” he told the LA Times on Tuesday.

Great, so that is settled.  Now comes the interesting part. Continue reading Rough Draft →

Thought Tools

Pathways from Poverty to Prosperity

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Bible festivals were never merely holidays to the Jews—they were holydays.  The difference is that on a vacation or a holiday you don’t have to go to work or do things.  On a holyday you get to do things, very special things that polish your personality, sculpt your soul, and redirect your life.

Furthermore, Bible holydays are not random events scattered around the calendar.  They are exquisitely positioned highlights in the tapestry of time.  Each holyday is linked, not only to the beating heart of a living nation but also to every other holyday in a synchronized system of spiritual development.

Take for instance the holyday of Shavuot, widely known as Pentecost, which we start celebrating next Thursday night.  

This holyday is bound up with Passover, celebrated seven weeks earlier, by a formal count each day which marks the march of the forty-nine days connecting the two holydays like forty-nine steps along a pathway.  

The pathway starts with Passover, chiefly characterized by the eating of unleavened crackers known in Hebrew as matzo or LeCHeM ONI.  The word LeCHeM means bread, while ONI possesses several meanings but the one of interest to us here is POVERTY.

Thus, the Torah instructs that on Passover,

“….seven days shall you eat matzo… the bread of poverty….”
(Deuteronomy 16:3)

The pathway ends with Shavuot or Pentecost (from the Greek for 50 referring to Shavuot being the fiftieth day from Passover) celebrated with bread, as described in Leviticus 23:15-20.  Ancient Jewish wisdom explains that while unleavened bread or matzo is rightly described as the bread of poverty, it is regular bread which is known as the bread of prosperity. Continue reading Pathways from Poverty to Prosperity →

Arts & Culture

The Regent

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Foreword by Stan Lerner: a week later and blogs are still coming in about Art Walk – I told everyone to go! Well this new kid is a pretty good writer and we like that in downtownster land. Listen, if there are anymore Art Walk stories being typed away on right now, my dear bloggers, I’ll give you until Friday to get them in. After that we all have to move on to June 11th—that would be the next Art Walk boys and girls!

It was pretty slow at the bar Thursday night-something that would usually bother me, but not that night.  I raced around performing all the closing duties in record time-a blur of a black uniform hurling patio chairs, wine and glassware into their final resting places for the evening.

            -Hey, slow down.  Pour yourself a beer.  My boss offered as I raced by with a nights worth of empty bottles on my way to the recycling bin.

            This gave me momentary pause-never been one to turn down a beer.  Tonight was different though; it was downtown art walk and, in addition to the traditional post art libations at Bar 107, there was to be a much hyped show at the Regent Theater near 4th and Main.  I was getting exceptionally anxious after having received numerous texts from attendees perpetuating the buzz.  –Get over here man-just talked to some folks who saw these guys last week and said it was AMAZING.  I don’t know why the all caps technique is so effective, but it is and I quickened my pace with each such message.

           -Sorry boss, not to be ungrateful, but I’ve got to make this show.

            I jumped on my bike, a slight buzz from having reversed my position on the beer offer last minute and making short work of it, and sprinted the mile or so from South Park to Gallery Row. Continue reading The Regent →

Sports

Take a Bow Los Angeles

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They’ve been formidable opponents all season long. Since the beginning, one has been considered the favorite and likely to take the whole thing. The other has been somewhat revered but has recently improved and gained a greater appreciation of fans and experts. One was a hometown favorite. The other has gained some local following. Last night, both contenders gave it everything they had in a memorable grudge match. Who will be the victor remains to be seen.  

But enough about American Idol. And don’t worry. I’m not moving on to speaking about Mario Lopez throwing out the ceremonial first pitch again. Matthew McConaughey is scheduled to do the same this evening in Chavez Ravine. Clearly, with films such as “Dazed and Confused” and “Failure to Launch” (which by the way features Steelers great Terry Bradshaw), McConaughey has had the better career. Okay, let’s get serious. “Failure to Launch” was awful. Wait. Let’s really focus, on sports.

Enjoy your Wednesday, L.A. sports fans. The Dodgers added another win to their impressive home record, the Lakers topped the Nuggets in Game One of the Western Conference Finals and the Clippers (Yes, those Clippers), came away with the first pick in last night’s NBA Draft Lottery.

Staples Center was at capacity Tuesday evening, much to the chagrin of pop-culture experts. Many anticipated the center would be empty due to the “American Idol Finals” held at the neighboring Nokia. It appears that LA Live survived the evening’s festivities. Although, this was similar to the blunder made by the Nugget’s front office.

The Pepsi Center however, is not as equipped as LA Live to handle simultaneous events of such grandeur. Game Four of the Western Conference Finals is in direct conflict with Monday Night Raw, a pre-scheduled World Wresting Entertainment event. Clearly, both platforms of athletic prowess cannot be featured on the same evening.

Athletic prowess?

Hey, even if I didn’t find professional wrestling to be a commendable sport, I’m fearful of what Chairman Vince McMahon might do to me. McMahon recently challenged Nuggets and Pepsi Center owner Stan Kroenke, claiming Kroenke should have expected his team to make it this far in the postseason. McMahon’s negotiating tactic? Giving Kroenke a Kobe Bryant jersey and delivering an invitation to a steel-cage grudge match. So rah, rah for Monday Night Raw!

Still, McMahon might have tipped his hat to the Nuggets last night, as they took on the Lakers in one of the chippiest, hard-nosed games I’ve seen in quite some time. Continue reading Take a Bow Los Angeles →

Sports

Dodger Stadium vs. Angels Stadium

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In my 23 years in Los Angeles, I had never ventured south of the 10 Freeway to watch a professional baseball game.  And why would I?  The ballpark that houses the Los Angeles Dodgers is, in fact, solely responsible for my baseball passion.  It wasn’t playing catch with my dad, hitting a home run in Little League, or watching my favorite team win the World Series.  No, it was sitting in the Loge deck along the first base line while the setting sun left a piercing orange hue above left field and ketchup and mustard delicately fell from the Dodger Dog into my lap on warm summer nights that really did it.

So when my friend invited me to an Angels’ game last week, I accepted if for no other reason than scientific observation.  How would Angels’ Stadium stack up to the monument in Chavez Ravine, the thought of which once inspired Walter O’Malley to abandon a devout fan base in Brooklyn whose collective demeanor was determined almost entirely by the success of “Dem Bums.”  Forget the fact that they now masquerade themselves as a team from Los Angeles, that the team founder is best known as the first signing cowboy of the silver screen (Gene Autry) or that a Disney movie is more than a little responsible for their nationwide popularity, the Angels presented an interesting baseball viewing alternative, and I was sure to find out how viable that was. Continue reading Dodger Stadium vs. Angels Stadium →

Politics

Obama vs Cheney

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Johanna Neuman of the LA Times asks in the May 17th Sunday Edition why former Vice President Dick Cheney doesn’t just go gently into the night—

Before delving into the substance of the real issue, which is the Obama Administration’s course of action since taking office and its’ ongoing criticism / blame of the Bush Administration’s policies / conduct and Dick Cheney’s counter condemnation thereof, any responsible writer has to condemn the Times for printing such a one sided distortion of the facts. It is exactly this kind of trash journalism that is destroying what was once a great newspaper. Let me give you one example: Neuman writes, “Dick Cheney has made the oft- repeated and truly incendiary assertion that Obama’s policies are making the country less safe from terrorism.” Really, is it “truly incendiary?” Any more so than the assertions’ of President Obama or Vice President Biden on the campaign trail or since taking office? But because Johanna Neuman and the LA Times want to discredit the statements of former Vice President Cheney, Neuman is allowed to use carefully crafted language to do so. This is a disgrace and should be called out as such.

In reality former Vice President Cheney has been on several talk shows defending the Bush Administration’s policies. In doing so he has stated that it is his belief that these policies kept America from being attacked again for a period of seven years subsequent to the 911 / attack. And he went on to say that the Obama Administration doing away with these policies, in his opinion made America less safe. Anyone watching Dick Cheney being interviewed would objectively conclude the following: Dick Cheney is a very smart, well spoken individual. The Bush Administration did in fact not allow another attack on America subsequent to 911. And that Dick Cheney believes what he is saying.

I have personally disagreed with the Bush Administration on a number of policies and actions, but for the good of the country both the media and the Obama Administration would be well served to listen to the former Vice President closely—in fact I can’t help but to wonder why he’s waited until leaving office to make himself so available. The Dick Cheney we’re now seeing is the Dick Cheney that debated Joe Lieberman to a tie, a debate that left everyone watching, wondering why the two Vice Presidential candidates weren’t the one’s running for President. So that Dick Cheney is back—GOOD.

Now let’s take a step back and look at some of the policy differences that have caused this argument and the LA Times to disgrace itself, again. The first major policy change by the Obama Administration to become part of the dispute was the President’s directive to close the Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility. Continue reading Obama vs Cheney →

What's happening

Hello Wine Lovers!

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Hello Wine lovers. Tonight Monday from 5pm to 8pm we roll the clock back to the classic wines of Europe namely Bordeaux.  The region of Bordeaux is to the south west of Paris France sitting along the Gironde river the region is split by the body of water.  One side of the river is known for producing wine based on a mostly Merlot.  The other side of the river is known for   producing wines heavy in Cabernet Sauvignon.  The five grapes grown in Bordeaux are, Continue reading Hello Wine Lovers! →

Poetry

poem in LA

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in those streets, amid the honking

and blaring, shouts and cries

            a butterfly

attracted by the yellow

lane lines

thinks there is sustenance,

it floats

downward

like an autumn leave

ignoring traffic noise

the homeless woman who mutters

and raises a fist

skyward

            with it’s sole purpose

it’s singular attraction

the monarch

flutters between zooming cars

oblivious to danger

until it is close enough

to realize

this yellow is no flower

            no matter, rising

it looks for a resting

place, lands on the woman’s

shoulder

momentarily.

and she is silenced, though

lips move

a prayer

of gratitude.

Arts & Culture

ArtWalk, the ‘Don’t Take it Personal’ Tour

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“Come on, I want to show you something,” Richard said, strolling up to the table where I was sitting waiting for him at in the Must. “There’s an interesting development going on.”

I hopped up, waved goodbye to the waiter, and followed the new head of the downtown Los Angeles ArtWalk, Richard Schave, out the door.

Richard pointed to the parking lot at the corner of 5th and Main as we headed toward the intersection, his voice full of mischievous intrigue. “They set this area up for the street artists, but didn’t tell anyone. And they’re charging them.”

I met Schave last weekend at the MusicUnion mixer, where we spoke about his plans for the future of ArtWalk. He told me they are forming a non-profit organization to manage the rapidly growing event, but that this also has its own set of problems. He hopes to be able to apply the same principles he learned from software development to the process of handling the development of ArtWalk amongst a board of directors.

Richard also shared his solution to the problem of the displaced ArtWalk street vendors—he’d like to bring them back. Continue reading ArtWalk, the ‘Don’t Take it Personal’ Tour →