Tag Archives: dating advice

GET THE RIGHT GUY

Foreword by Stan Lerner: WARNING FOR WOMEN READERS  if you want to spend your life alone or enjoy unfulfilling going nowhere relationships this blog is not for you. If on the other hand you want a real man, that knows how to treat a woman to share your life with, read away!!!

Get The Right Guy

Introduction

Ladies, since so many of you have wanted to read my book for men, “Get Chicks 101,” I have decided to write you your own book. Now, I realize that you have good intentions when you go snooping around “Get Chicks 101.” But it is indicative of a far greater problem, which we will attempt to solve in this new book.  In my book for guys, I was trying to turn them back into men. In my book for women, I am going to enlist your help in this effort. However, at the same time, I do want to have a serious discussion about the type of woman the right guy is looking for.

What qualifies me to advise you? Well growing up with a mom and two sisters, for starters. Perhaps even more valuable is this painful fact of my life: I have dated so many of you, I have frankly become an expert through life experience. Also, I am your average forty-something bachelor and I am qualified for that reason alone to tell you what men are really thinking about you.

Just to define average, let me tell you more about myself so that you truly know where I’m coming from. I am forty-two, I have never been married, and I have had no children out of wedlock. Most of the time I make a good living and I am my own boss. I own a home and drive a convertible SL500 Mercedes Benz. I do want to get married and I treat women well. I don’t smoke or do drugs and I only drink socially.

Not enough? I love kids and I am good with them. I write and paint as hobbies and I am handy around the house. I workout six days a week and I enjoy dressing well. I come from a good family. My parents were happily married for thirty-eight years and we talked almost every day while they were still alive. I love to have fun—movies, pool, dancing—all are big with me. And I am fine to stay home with some candles and a good dinner, which I am more than capable of cooking. So, if you are looking for a guy that fits this general description, I am qualified to tell you how to get one.

If on the other hand, you are looking for a guy who will treat you badly, be afraid of commitment, not make a good living, and cheat on you, then this book is not for you. You certainly don’t need my expert advice on how to land this guy—he’s everywhere!  Women write most of the books that will tell you how to land the wrong guy ironically enough. I cringe every time I see one of these authors being interviewed. They make their money by steering you towards your next relationship disaster, only so they can write a sequel to their first book—which is usually on coping with the unhappiness of being alone. Ladies, when you see these authors being interviewed, do they strike you as role models? I have yet to hear one say she knows what she is talking about because she took her own advice and landed a great guy.

No offence to Dr. Laura, Dr. Ruth, Oprah or Rosie, but trust me here. When it comes to guy advice, what are you thinking by listening to them? Dr. Phil? Would you date him? I didn’t think so. My point is simple. Women are the victims of bad advice—volumes and volumes of bad advice—political correctness gone crazy mixed with feminism. So, I have decided to step up and speak-out.

Why have men been keeping silent so long as women constantly drift down the wrong road? It’s complicated. But the short answer is simply that there are secrets that are supposed to be kept just among the boys. To get us, you need to understand us—and that information till now has been verboten to women. In the old days, your mother would have told you how to get a man. But most of you stopped listening to Mom a long time ago. And these days, sadly enough, Mom has her own problems. So, what you should have learned about men growing up, from other women, can now really only be told to you by a man.

Listen to me closely because there are a lot of great guys out there and one has your name on him. I am going to tell you many tightly held guy secrets. Don’t misuse them. My goal is to get you back on track to getting the right man. And I’m warning you now; some of what I say may come as a shock. But in the end, if you take my advice, you will have an exponentially greater chance at not only getting the right guy; you will have a great chance of keeping him. Continue reading

Get Chicks 101

Foreword by Stan Lerner: I’ll keep this simple, while “Stan Lerner’s Criminal” wins the big awards, “Get Chicks 101” tops the ebook download charts. I wrote this work as a satire of self-help books and somehow managed to give the best relationship advice ever given–go figure. Anyway, read this blog sample of the work and then click on one of the links at the end to either download it directly to your Kindle or using smashwords to anywhere else. And for those of you worried about the ridiculous amount of money that this classic is making (something like a million dollars a week) know that 90% of the revenue after transaction costs is being given to charity or to support the not for profit work of downtownster.com. AND YES, “GET CHICKS 101” IS NOW AVAILABLE IN THE IBOOKSTORE FOR YOUR IPAD!!!

Introduction

Let me start by saying I’m not the best-looking guy. I’m certainly not the richest guy and, frankly, my personality is just all right. But I do have more girls to go out with than all of my friends combined. Not counting Hefner or any of the other guys who make their living off of hot, steamy, young flesh, I don’t really know anyone who has a better social life than I do. So, for the sake of social consciousness, I have decided to share what I know.

Now, I will try to keep this light and fun. But remember, dating girls is serious business. So, every now and then I might have to sacrifice some entertainment value to make sure you really understand and process what I’m saying. Please don’t get bored with me if I get serious for a minute. It’s for your own good.

Like most good stories, I will start at the beginning. (“The Godfather” and “Pulp Fiction” are exceptions.) This means with you, not her. Don’t think you’re so great that you can skip to proper thong removal technique before you’ve gotten yourself looking halfway decent and not sounding like a jackass every time you open your mouth. Simply put, you must start with arithmetic before attempting calculus.

Keep in mind while reading this book that men and women are not only different from each other—they are completely separate creatures. Women are indeed a separate species unto themselves. Most probably, you’ve heard of the book “Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus.” You see it’s well known that they are a different species, even by women themselves. Of course, if I had written the book just mentioned, the title would be something like, “Men Are from Mars and If You Want to Get Chicks, Hang Out on Venus”.

My goal is simple: to turn men back into men. Women will complain about this. But in the end, they really don’t know what’s best for them. They are very similar to the pet that will just keep eating until it explodes. So, by the end of “Get Chicks 101”, you will not only be equipped to deal with today’s woman—the most dangerous and treacherous of all time—you will actually be doing your part to save humanity from the evils of feminism. Only men can rescue the female species from extinction by stomping out their proclivity to want to become one of us (men).

By the way, a friend recently said to me, “Today, men and women just don’t need each other anymore.” This is simply bull! Even today’s space-age love doll technology cannot compare to the real thing. (Yes, I’ve tried… not bad… better than the old blow up model—but in the end not even close. And I have a pretty good imagination.) Let’s face it, even if they could make a doll that passed the Pepsi Challenge, it still couldn’t cook and clean. As far as them needing us—kids, mortgage, food, clothing, healthcare, transportation, and insurance all require more than the best penis substitute has to offer. So, we need them and they need us. I’ll tell you how to get them. I’ll tell you how to keep them, if you want to. And most importantly, I’ll tell you how to keep them in line so they don’t drive you out of your mind and then take half your money. Read on, have fun, and get the right girl!

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