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Get Chicks 101

Foreword by Stan Lerner: I’ll keep this simple, while “Stan Lerner’s Criminal” wins the big awards, “Get Chicks 101″ tops the ebook download charts. I wrote this work as a satire of self-help books and somehow managed to give the best relationship advice ever given–go figure. Anyway, read this blog sample of the work and then click on one of the links at the end to either download it directly to your Kindle or using smashwords to anywhere else. And for those of you worried about the ridiculous amount of money that this classic is making (something like a million dollars a week) know that 90% of the revenue after transaction costs is being given to charity or to support the not for profit work of downtownster.com. AND YES, “GET CHICKS 101″ IS NOW AVAILABLE IN THE IBOOKSTORE FOR YOUR IPAD!!!

Introduction

Let me start by saying I’m not the best-looking guy. I’m certainly not the richest guy and, frankly, my personality is just all right. But I do have more girls to go out with than all of my friends combined. Not counting Hefner or any of the other guys who make their living off of hot, steamy, young flesh, I don’t really know anyone who has a better social life than I do. So, for the sake of social consciousness, I have decided to share what I know.

Now, I will try to keep this light and fun. But remember, dating girls is serious business. So, every now and then I might have to sacrifice some entertainment value to make sure you really understand and process what I’m saying. Please don’t get bored with me if I get serious for a minute. It’s for your own good.

Like most good stories, I will start at the beginning. (“The Godfather” and “Pulp Fiction” are exceptions.) This means with you, not her. Don’t think you’re so great that you can skip to proper thong removal technique before you’ve gotten yourself looking halfway decent and not sounding like a jackass every time you open your mouth. Simply put, you must start with arithmetic before attempting calculus.

Keep in mind while reading this book that men and women are not only different from each other—they are completely separate creatures. Women are indeed a separate species unto themselves. Most probably, you’ve heard of the book “Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus.” You see it’s well known that they are a different species, even by women themselves. Of course, if I had written the book just mentioned, the title would be something like, “Men Are from Mars and If You Want to Get Chicks, Hang Out on Venus”.

My goal is simple: to turn men back into men. Women will complain about this. But in the end, they really don’t know what’s best for them. They are very similar to the pet that will just keep eating until it explodes. So, by the end of “Get Chicks 101”, you will not only be equipped to deal with today’s woman—the most dangerous and treacherous of all time—you will actually be doing your part to save humanity from the evils of feminism. Only men can rescue the female species from extinction by stomping out their proclivity to want to become one of us (men).

By the way, a friend recently said to me, “Today, men and women just don’t need each other anymore.” This is simply bull! Even today’s space-age love doll technology cannot compare to the real thing. (Yes, I’ve tried… not bad… better than the old blow up model—but in the end not even close. And I have a pretty good imagination.) Let’s face it, even if they could make a doll that passed the Pepsi Challenge, it still couldn’t cook and clean. As far as them needing us—kids, mortgage, food, clothing, healthcare, transportation, and insurance all require more than the best penis substitute has to offer. So, we need them and they need us. I’ll tell you how to get them. I’ll tell you how to keep them, if you want to. And most importantly, I’ll tell you how to keep them in line so they don’t drive you out of your mind and then take half your money. Read on, have fun, and get the right girl!

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