Tag Archives: get chicks 101

iPAD—FINALLY ALL OF MY BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE ON iPAD

Let me get this out of the way, right up front…BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!! Finally, all of my books, Stan Lerner’s Criminal, In Development, Get Chicks 101, Get The Right Guy, Impact, Ninety Nine Post, and Blast are available in Apple’s iBookstore for iPad…There, fifteen years of work summed up in one sentence. But I wouldn’t be much of a storyteller if I didn’t have more to say than this…

It was about thirty-five years ago that I began sharing my vision with some of my close friends about not only wanting to be a writer, but wanting people to be able to read my works on handheld computers all over the world, in every language, and my words would be delivered through the air to these, at the time imaginary, devices. And because my friends were patient with me and had good imaginations of their own, I wasn’t dismissed as a SciFi crackpot. Rather, I was just thought of as crazy ambitious with an ego that seemingly knew no bounds. Not because I wanted to be rich or famous, but because I believed that what I wrote could make a difference on a global scale—especially if I could write and answer to no one other than I.

So as I watched my digital books take their place on the digital bookshelf of the iPad in my hand I couldn’t help, but to say, “Finally.” And I should mention here that this moment was made all the more important to me by the fact that Barnes & Noble and Borders had refused to put my award winning novel “Stan Lerner’s Criminal” in their stores—for no reason anyone who buys books can understand. The anger and frustration over my work being kept from the general public weighed on me heavily—my books becoming available on Kindle, Kobo, Nook, and Smashwords, did lighten the weight somewhat, but because iPad is much more than an ebook reader, meaning it will be used by the general public (EVERYONE), it’s the iPad, which has finally lifted the burden from my back completely.

Now while I’m the first to admit that there are technophiles far more qualified to revue the iPad than I, let me just assure you that if you try an iPad—you’ll buy an iPad! I have a MacBook Pro, I love it! I have an iPhone, I love it! I have a Kindle, I love it! And let me be perfectly clear—if you just want to read books on a light, relatively inexpensive device, Kindle totally rocks!!! And then there’s iPad, which combines elements of all of the previously mentioned, with some great new twists—all the more perfect because it allows you to experience these elements in ways / dimensions the others do not. Not that it replaces the others, it doesn’t, but it simply adds on to them. Being a couch potato these days just ain’t what it used to be!!! So yes, an iPad will be joining my growing list of things…

If I may depart from the iPad theme of this blog to focus on the central element of my childhood dream for a moment… Continue reading

Get Chicks 101

Foreword by Stan Lerner: I’ll keep this simple, while “Stan Lerner’s Criminal” wins the big awards, “Get Chicks 101″ tops the ebook download charts. I wrote this work as a satire of self-help books and somehow managed to give the best relationship advice ever given–go figure. Anyway, read this blog sample of the work and then click on one of the links at the end to either download it directly to your Kindle or using smashwords to anywhere else. And for those of you worried about the ridiculous amount of money that this classic is making (something like a million dollars a week) know that 90% of the revenue after transaction costs is being given to charity or to support the not for profit work of downtownster.com. AND YES, “GET CHICKS 101″ IS NOW AVAILABLE IN THE IBOOKSTORE FOR YOUR IPAD!!!

Introduction

Let me start by saying I’m not the best-looking guy. I’m certainly not the richest guy and, frankly, my personality is just all right. But I do have more girls to go out with than all of my friends combined. Not counting Hefner or any of the other guys who make their living off of hot, steamy, young flesh, I don’t really know anyone who has a better social life than I do. So, for the sake of social consciousness, I have decided to share what I know.

Now, I will try to keep this light and fun. But remember, dating girls is serious business. So, every now and then I might have to sacrifice some entertainment value to make sure you really understand and process what I’m saying. Please don’t get bored with me if I get serious for a minute. It’s for your own good.

Like most good stories, I will start at the beginning. (“The Godfather” and “Pulp Fiction” are exceptions.) This means with you, not her. Don’t think you’re so great that you can skip to proper thong removal technique before you’ve gotten yourself looking halfway decent and not sounding like a jackass every time you open your mouth. Simply put, you must start with arithmetic before attempting calculus.

Keep in mind while reading this book that men and women are not only different from each other—they are completely separate creatures. Women are indeed a separate species unto themselves. Most probably, you’ve heard of the book “Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus.” You see it’s well known that they are a different species, even by women themselves. Of course, if I had written the book just mentioned, the title would be something like, “Men Are from Mars and If You Want to Get Chicks, Hang Out on Venus”.

My goal is simple: to turn men back into men. Women will complain about this. But in the end, they really don’t know what’s best for them. They are very similar to the pet that will just keep eating until it explodes. So, by the end of “Get Chicks 101”, you will not only be equipped to deal with today’s woman—the most dangerous and treacherous of all time—you will actually be doing your part to save humanity from the evils of feminism. Only men can rescue the female species from extinction by stomping out their proclivity to want to become one of us (men).

By the way, a friend recently said to me, “Today, men and women just don’t need each other anymore.” This is simply bull! Even today’s space-age love doll technology cannot compare to the real thing. (Yes, I’ve tried… not bad… better than the old blow up model—but in the end not even close. And I have a pretty good imagination.) Let’s face it, even if they could make a doll that passed the Pepsi Challenge, it still couldn’t cook and clean. As far as them needing us—kids, mortgage, food, clothing, healthcare, transportation, and insurance all require more than the best penis substitute has to offer. So, we need them and they need us. I’ll tell you how to get them. I’ll tell you how to keep them, if you want to. And most importantly, I’ll tell you how to keep them in line so they don’t drive you out of your mind and then take half your money. Read on, have fun, and get the right girl!

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